Acknowledgments
For life, lens, and literacy, a million thanks to my dear mother, Carolin Maraj, who done arready know I have a plan and always believe in it, without a word said—forever my strength and my faith. To my father, fireman (Alfred) “Freddie” Maraj, thanks for de support and presence, eh. Leiselle Donald, my sister, my ride or die from small, an’, of course, Reanaldo Donald, eternally grateful to both ah allyuh, for laughter, Atlanta holidays, memes, the official “AT&T” thread, etc. etc. etc. Shoutout to my sweet lil Goddaughter, Lara Khaleesi Donald—I hope someday yuh will read this, baby girl. Lermie (Lemuel Maraj), thanks eh bredda. He could tell a story forever! Big up to “Stories from Staubles” for showing me autoethnography. Sara (Ramroop), I hope yuh doin’ ahright and keeping your pumkin safe. Luanna (Budden), bravin’ de cold in de land of Eng, ah thinkin’ about allyuh, you and Shelby. Laverne (Maraj), keep good, yuh hear? To my nephews, Joey, Josh, Isaiah, please get educated: we need a next generation! It still have time. Please! Dayo, you too. Thank you to Granny (Rita Senhouse)—rest in peace—and de aunts who help raise me, Tanty Mer (Merlyn Taitt), Tanty Ros (Roslyn De Labastide), and Mama (Jacqueline De Labastide)—gone too soon—and can’t forget yuh, Uncle Calvin (De Labastide). Family is Family is Family!!! Cousins, de whole crew, allyuh done know: Jade and Joselle (De Labastide); The Fulchans: Anissa, Joey, and the chirren; Andre, Anson, Nadia (Taitt); Clint (De Labastide); Steve and Aneisha (Lashley); large up. Daddy family, representin’ too.
To my life partner, Alexis McGee, the light in my sky, the gold in my deep blue: I love you, sunshine! Every day together is a blessing.
Miss Sandy, my beautiful kitty, Cootz, you have taught me emotional maturity and how to take care of myself. To my grad school crew, you knew this book in infancy: Sean Kamperman, you my dude. To my Crispy Boy, Caitlyn “Gam” McLoughlin, much love. Pritha Prasad, keep prithing. To the rest of my A Team, Colleen Morrissey, Zach Harvat, and Drew Sweet, yuh large! Michelle Cohen, your art stays with me. Special mention to Indya Jackson, you’re an inspiration.
Friends that have kept me on, thank you! You know I mean Norman Rasmussen III, definitely you, love you, brother. Thanks to your whole family, Krista, and the kids, for their years and years of hospitality. Dellison Charles and Jean Marc Tardieu, the original coatie crew, big up yourself. Can’t forget Antonio Reyes and family—glad allyuh could make de weddin’—and I must give all my (QRC) boys in blue and blue a bligh.
To the teachers, I say: you have shaped me! Teacher Noreen, Mr. Murray, will never forget you. Rhona Bissram, Mr. Carter, Mrs. Bowen Forbes, Mr. Warner, Ms. Wendy McKenzie (who taught us what Haiti means!), Hinkie, Sio, Mr. Prince, and the educational space of Queen’s Royal College, I’m grateful. Kathy Sunshine, you saved my life. Jackie Skrzynski, I learned so much from you about myself at our advisement center. To the poets who believed I had it, James Hoch in particular, thank you! The poems still coming knocking. Lara and Tim Crowley, I appreciate you both and your kindness is beyond words. Kathleen Griffin—could not have gotten through grad school without you! I’m beholden to Wendy S. Hesford for the guidance, Beverly J. Moss for being a rock, Margaret Price for letting me be vulnerable, and all three of you for thoughts on raising this project. Cristina García, I won’t ever forget when you introduced me as one of your “favorite poets” out in the desert at that retreat. You are so kindhearted, generous, and caring. Juan Felipe Herrera, “the voice” keeps speaking. Carmen Kynard, bless up! Grateful to all others who have mentored me along this path in some way or shape, like Ersula Ore and Tamika Carey—there are certainly more—and to my students, past and present; I continually learn from you.
My Pitt people, my gratitude to you. Talkin’ bout Peter Odell Campbell (for feedback, questions, solidarity), Khirsten L. Scott, Shaundra Myers, Yona Harvey, and yea, Imani Owens and Lauren Russell, y’all still in this party. Was’ de scene, R. A. Judy?! Thank you for being you and for the direction on this project. To the Black grad students at Pitt—you know who you are—you were a key part of my support system while getting this ting done. Also appreciative of colleagues like Ben Miller, Elizabeth Pitts, Jean Ferguson Carr, Stephen and Cassie Quigley, Annette Vee, and Corey Holding.
Special thanks to others whose comments, conversations, and kindness helped this monograph in some form, including (but not limited to) Andreá N. Williams, Bob Baker at the Village Voice, Sara-Maria Sorentino, David Marshall, Christa Teston, Adela C. Licona, Tara Cyphers, Karma Chávez, and especially Rachael Levay, University Press of Colorado and Utah State University Press staff, and their anonymous readers of this manuscript. Shoutout to the whole DBLAC family network too!
I acknowledge the support of the Richard D. and Mary Jane Edwards Endowed Publication Fund, the University of Pittsburgh Department of English, Kristin Hopkins, Gayle Rogers, and Don Bialostosky for this publication.
An earlier version of chapter 1 was first published with the same title as Louis M. Maraj, 2018, “Are You Black Though: Black Autoethnography and Racing the Graduate Student/Instructor,” in Precarious Rhetorics, ed. Wendy S. Hesford, Adel Licona, and Christa Teston, 212–33 (Columbus: The Ohio State University Press). The poem “Monkey on Down” featured in that chapter initially appeared on the American Academy of Poets’ website, poets.org. I’m thankful to the Village Voice for permission to use the opening stanza to Audre Lorde’s “Power,” originally printed there in 1974. For use of his photo in chapter 4, I’m appreciative to Mike Bierschenk.
Blessings to de spaces, places, and phases I lived, labored, and loved: Pittsburgh, Mahwah, Sloatsburg, Lubbock (yea we still have beef, but yuh make meh think), Columbus, India—you are beautiful—and of course, my home and heart, Trinidad and Tobago, where I wrote and revised major parts of Black or Right. Trinidad! I love yuh too bad!!!
For de sounds dat help me to listen, I’m especially indebted—to soca and dancehall for teaching love poetry, calypso for social critique, extempo kaiso for teaching me to think on my feet, Papa Bois and Anansi tales for what is power in story, “that is bamboo bussing or gunshot ah hearin’?” Amen.